About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
