Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize