It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
