I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize