I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
