he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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