Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
