i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
