so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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