i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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