had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you didnt know i had herpes?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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