Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
