nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
