They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
