Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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