Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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