Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
