Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
