So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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