lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
