Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
