He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize