I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
