Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
