So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
