It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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