she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize