I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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