how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
