i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish I only lived at night.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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