why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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