she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
