I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
