just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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