bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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