i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
