at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
