mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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