He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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