1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize