the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
