I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
