No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
