i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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