so that wasnt chicken after all
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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