Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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