Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
