Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
