so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
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Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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