just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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