i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
