i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
A+ Viking dick
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