woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
