why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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