You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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