chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
