4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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