Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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