All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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