How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
