This girl is more easily done than said...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
