Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
