she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
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She bit a glass in half.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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