Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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