I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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